Grenoble Diaries: A soliloquy in the weekend market

I know I am supposed to post something else, but I happened to visit the nearby weekend market today morning and it reminded me a lot of home. So, before I forget, here's the post. The regular one will follow soon.
In an open space between parking lots, or in similar settings, weekend mornings in Grenoble are filled with the noise of hurried shoppers and dealers yelling bargains on their wares. You get a lot of decent deals on cheap goods and also some freshly prepared food and fresh vegetables. I wanted to buy a few essentials so I decided to check it out myself. It was similar to markets back in India. Though what the dealers were yelling was mostly gibberish mixed with familiar words. But they had the same expedited process of dealing. People browsed, haggled if possible for the price, paid and left smiling as fast as they could. I usually am slow to shop, not too much, but I shop using a simple 'yes/no/not now/hell no' decision making system in case I am not sure about what I have to buy. So, my thoughts went like this:

Yay! Market! Cheap shit finally! Damn, they yell here their throats away here as well... Well, people will be people, ok... should start browsing

(Passing Stores)
Hmm, do I need bikinis? nope, not for anyone I know... do I need children's clothes, nope... holy crap! naked chicks on cigarette lighters, think of all the puns you could make with the phrase 'light up'!

(further down)
WTF is he doing in a bathrobe in public!? Ah, selling bed-covers AND bathrobes together... Ooo shiny! (spots dealer selling old coins and violins) Well, i can't play it, and I am not Dawn to even judge whether any of these is worth something, but huge frigging coins... nice...

(passing shops selling food)
Food is for those with refrigerators, no point sticking around any of these, damn that chicken smells good though... Do you people really have to roast it in the open and pour all that sauce till the smell will eventually drive me insane?
Woah! Adidas shoes sold on the street! wait... 28 euros?! hell no!

(slow browsing)
All that technology and they can't sell decent forks on the street... ah, made in China, should have known. Belts, no... scarves, why will I need one?... hmm, no idea what you cut with this, doesn't look sharp or of any use... sigh, more women's clothing... Hookay, where to go next?... niccee!(spots cute chick)

Oh how nice! They have special prams for twins here! (passes young couple pushing their twins in a pram) Hmm, cheap 2 pin connectors, relatively ofcourse; nice pliers, look pretty handy; but I shouldn't buy anything for this place... Aha! A pack of small LEDs for 1 Euro! Cool; should I buy them? NOO! (mental self-slap) Not gonna buy the redundant! Lamington Road hasn't shut down yet! Gotta move away! GOTTA MOVE THE FUCK AWAY!

Ah, last shop and even this one is selling cheap skirts with black and white designs... seem nicely skimpy (spotting girl trying it on by holding it on herself) Sell something for men retards and not just to watch!
Nothing really worth-while... what a waste of time...

Meme: Weekend markets are for the early birds who are hungry that early as well.

Grenoble Diaries: The first weekend of hunger 1

(growr)My stomach growls in hunger, which is odd, since I have just finished 4 sandwiches with smoked bacon and mayonnaise; the last of what might constitute a 'real' meal for the coming days. I look at the list I've just finished.

1. ***Food Items in Room***
2. 2 boxes of La vache qui rit cheese.
3. 2 half finished packs of breakfast cereal.
4. 5 microwaveable meals.
5. 50% of a 70% dark chocolate bar.
6. 125 gms of almonds

Thats all I have left to survive for 4 days. I have a total of 5.89 euros left as I type this and its disturbing to realise that a round trip to the institute will hit me for 5.60 euros. I look outside the window of my room. (growrr) A pretty chick passed by incidentally. I stretch out my arms and yawn, already knowing what I am going to do for the days...
But before all that, I need to explain how this situation came to be...


Wrestling with red tape and the academic sections

On the flight to Paris, CDG from IG, New Delhi.

They said that getting an internship at the end of your 4th year is slightly more difficult than trying to dive into an open sewer and coming out cleaner. Given the easy going attitude of my guide, that seemed to be some KGPian legend. I was not prepared for the authorities response to the matter though.

Me: "Sir, I have secured an internship in France. Is it possible that you could allow me to go?"
Guide: "Of course! I will tell you the letters you need to write to the Dean of Undergraduate studies and the recommendation from the Head of the Department"
Me: (perplexed, yet smiling) "Thank you sir, I'll prepare a draft and get it as soon as possible"

2 Days later, Dean's office
Dean: (dour look) "What do you want?"
Me: (placing letter and explaining situation)
Dean: (clearly angry) "Why do you want to go? You should be proud of your alma mater! Work here, don't go to them. What is this!? If everyone goes then who will work? Anyway, its not mentioned on your application how this internship is going to be linked to your M.Tech thesis. (clearly stricken with sadistic delight) Get that mentioned! I don't know if he is allowing you to go! (short laugh)"

20 minutes later, Guide's office
Me: "Sir, you need to explicitly mention that this internship is linked to my M.Tech thesis"
Guide: "Hmmm, and how is it linked to your thesis?"
Me: (shooting off a random idea)
Guide: "OK"(Writes, 'This internship is highly linked to his M.Tech thesis' on my application.)

After another session of er... 'discussion' with the Dean, I finally have a letter of approval to carry with me.
Though what I have presented here is a short excerpt from the entire arduous procedure. The number of applications I had to submit alone would have blacklisted me on every tree-hugging environmentalist group on the planet. Hewlett-Packard however, might send me a complimentary pen for emptying so many ink cartridges. After a lot of bitching, moaning and listening to crap spouting from all corners of the academic section here at IIT, I was finally given permission to go for the internship.

Now all I had to hope for was the flight not crashing on its way to Lyon.
Next: INRIA, Houille Blanche and cute girls at convenience stores.

INRIA, Main building

Meme: Fear of heat can be a great motivator. For the religious, it works with hell, for me it worked with KGP in summers.

We, Protest

Somewhere during the first few days of February this year, a bunch of people (including me) suddenly realized that their lives had been too perfect so far and they decided to do something about it. Next day, they assembled in public with placards in their hands and a clear purpose in their minds. The result was this –

PV solemnly draws attention to the cause.

AVN Murthy: (Never) too busy for a good cause.

Sayandeep: Protesting for the right to assume.

Abhas: The 'real' wikipedian protester.

Trying to make heads turn.

Ashish V: Err… never mind.

In a short period of time, we attracted the attention of passers-by just like a crowd of people holding placards silently does. What follows is a series of WTF expressions that we got from people who couldn’t understand the cause (we don’t blame them; we blame the abstruse nature of the cause). We tried to approach them, coax them into supporting the cause, but they wouldn’t talk to us.

“Mom, is that you?”

“Damn!” (We wish they had looked higher.)

“Ooh, matching T-shirts!!!! Wait, what’s that?”

“Yes sweety, I’ll explain the cause tonight.” (nudge nudge, wink wink)

“Am I gonna be on TV?”

“Do you have accommodation?” (That’s what he really asked… honest.)

“At least my causes are well supported today.”

We did find some empathizing souls among the crowd; they stood by us resolutely taking time off from their busy schedules:

…

Tired, distracted, yet protesting.

He really would have.

… (again)

With special thanks to Barack Obama.

All images courtesy of Anikh Thakur; Resident photographer, asshole extraordinaire, feared in all dimensions and existing in 4.

Disclaimer: We did this only for the cause. It’s dear to us and we didn’t want to forget it. Please don’t sue us… for any reason.

Sincerely, The guy who typed this and Vinayak

No Water

It's around 0600 hrs and as expected, there is no frigging water to use in the morning! This happens in quite a few halls here at IIT KGP when the temperatures start soaring and humidity is like an unseen clingy blanket on your skin, keeping the cool out and the irritation in. People suddenly wake up to the ritual of bathing (no, they don't do it because it keeps them clean)
Hence, 'No Water'.
To be sung to the tune of Led Zeppelin's 'No Quarter'


Close the door, put on the light
You know you won't be foul tonight,
The sun falls hard and don't you know
The streams of showers are flowing slow
Wearing cloth thats fetid all through
They carry refuse that must wash true

They choose the bath when everyone goes,
They left no water,
They left no water.
Oh...

Walking side by side with filth,
The stench marks their every step
The sun drives the sweat on their brow,
The hogs of doom are snorting more
They carry refuse that must wash true
To build a dream for me and you
They choose the bath when everyone goes,
They left no water,
They have no water,
They left no water,
They have no water...they think about no water...with no water water


Meme: People bathe everyday. Jackasses bathe in summers only.